Damn! I’ve been gone so long that now WordPress looks all crazy different. There’s no big special reason I’m not posting. Mainly I’m just my normal neurotic self, and worried as always that the happenings of my life are too hum-drum for most people to want to read. Plus, let’s face it, I’m kind of a lazy-ass.
So what have I been doing with my time these days? Well, of course, most of it is gobbled up by work. And because of the nature of the work that I do (and the fact that it’s me), a good chunk of it is also spent worrying about work. But there are new, much more exciting things to worry about these days. I’m moving! It’s official! I’ve hinted for months about a possible career change, and it’s actually happening. I decided sometime in September that I wanted to pursue teaching. It’s really been germinating in my mind forever, and although my career path took me to it in a roundabout way, something clicked over this fall and it was time to actually make the jump. I enrolled in an alternative certification program, took my content exam in December (it’s English Language Arts 8-12, big shocker!) and passed, and have been sending out resumes and transcripts like mad for the past month. Teacher contracts obviously don’t end until after the school year, and resignations/transfers/etc. take a while, so I’m in the same position as the dozens of student teachers I work with: waiting, waiting, waiting.
But while I wait, I’m hitting the road. It might be a surprise to some, and more of “it’s about time” to others, but I’m pursuing this process not in Ohio, but back home in Texas. It’s a decision that I’ve struggled with, believe me. On the one hand, I’ve got a second family up here. I love the seasons. I’m an Indians fan now, I can drive in snow, I think Cleveland is charming. I know how to layer and think that 55 degrees is pretty darned warm. I’m not a Buckeye fan or anything (yikes, perish the thought!), but in a lot of ways, I’ve become an Ohioan. On the flip side, though, there’s the miserable winters, the distance from home, the relative scarcity of decent Mexican food. The job I’m growing to hate. The $350 plane tickets, and the homesickness that never went away. And, of course, my nephew. Cursed hellish summers and backwards redneck politics aside, it’s time to get back down to the Lone Star State. Houston is a hip town, there are over 30 school districts in the county, and they pay pretty well.
I’m terrified and stressed (shit, I practically had a breakdown when I had to move across campus, for heaven’s sakes!) but at the same time, I know, just know, that this is the right thing. A new (non-campus!) apartment, mom nearby in case of meltdowns, getting to see Tony’s first steps. And a career that feels right. We’ll see how I do after a few months in the field–I imagine there will be struggles and frustrations–but at the very least, I know that I’ll get to go home at the end of the day. I won’t have to do things like clean up vomit or do suicide watch or watch a student be led from his room in handcuffs. Or a gurney. I don’t regret the seven years I’ve spent doing what I do, not for a minute. But I know that if I do it much longer, I’m either going to lose my mind or wish I had.
For every part of this crazy move that I’m worried about (will I ACTUALLY get a teaching job? Am I going to have to work in food service to make ends meet this summer? The bugs! Ick!) there’s something else to get me excited. Free nights, no duty! Decent paychecks. Access to excellent food. And a much more appealing pool of 30-something men to draw from (no disrespect to Ohio, but most of the really good ones tend to get out of here…). It is in my nature to focus on the negative, but believe me, I’m working hard to combat that.
Tonight I booked a moving truck. Ney-ners has volunteered to do the cross-country trek with me. I have to send in my lease application by the end of the week. This is actually happening. Holy crap.
To the folks who still check in on this blog: thanks for reading. I’m going to try and document the impending anxiety, so don’t give up on me!
Countdown: 40 days!!! Here we go.
