So, all in all, today’s on the right track. Got new tires for the truck at a decent price and the guys at the garage didn’t treat me like an idiot. Set up a new online checking account in about two minutes. Wearing the new contact lenses, and they’re not so bad. And good vision came in very handy this afternoon, when I saw a Very Hot Guy working the grill at Chipotle. I know, a cute Chipotle grill guy isn’t exactly cause for celebration, but work with me for a sec. The guy was adorable. His eyes kind of reminded me of The Boy’s, and the rest of him…well, it was working. I checked him out all the way through my burrito bowl’s construction. And for the sake of positive energy, we’ll say he was checking me out too. The experience was important because it tells me that I just might have my mojo back!
What I mean is, I was starting to think maybe my whole interest in guys/sex/relationships was broken. I complain incessantly that I’m lonely, but the truth is I don’t have a ton of time to think much about it. For probably the first time in my adult history, there isn’t a single person in my life with whom I’d even consider a relationship. Really–nobody. I don’t even think about sex every minute anymore, and that’s very strange. I don’t recognize when I’m being flirted with, and I don’t flirt unless I’ve had a drink (and even then I don’t really think I have it down). Seeing a hot guy today and getting excited about it tells me that things are still in working order in spite of a recent influx of stress and distraction. I can still identify the hotness, and even allow myself to be identified, as well. I can still make connections. It makes me feel reassured that I’m not going to go through life walling myself away from any intimacy. That I’ll get there.
Other good stuff…The Swell Season are going to be at the Austin City Limits Music Festival this year, and I will actually be able to make it!!! My truck is in good working order for the upcoming 1200 mile trip. I’m about to serve the LAST weekend on-call duty of my life. (And it’s going to pour all weekend, which should keep a lid on most of the mischief.) I had a nice, cleansing cry last night, thanks to my girlfriends and the movie Atonement. I’m caught up on my paperwork and ready to close my buildings. While my future is something of a sloppy uncertainty, at least I’ve cleared all worries of the present away so that I can focus my stress on events four weeks from now. Not bad for a gloomy Friday.
