Things I don’t do

nearly enough of anymore…a list in no particular order:

1. Knit.  I (gasp) haven’t picked up a piece of knitting in something like three weeks now.  Does this make me a bad knitter?
2. Read.  I have a stack of great new books, like this one and the latest Ian McEwan, finally in paperback.  And a few that Vixen has graciously let me borrow.  They are sitting in a perfectly lovely pile on my new Ikea nightstand, just waiting for me…
3. Bake/cook.  I seem to have left all traces of a domestic life behind, regardless of how much I enjoy doing these things.
4. Create.  In spite of a huge stockpile of supplies, I haven’t collaged or scrapbooked or done anything remotely crafty in the last few months, unless you count putting up a few classroom bulletin boards.

There’s one thing, though, that I’m picking back up as we speak, and I’m hoping it will lead me to get back to doing the other things I love:  taking time to reflect.  I think these first few months of teaching were all about getting swept into the whirlwind (quite literally, once Ike hit us).  I was paddling with such intensity to keep my head above the water that I paid no attention to what was really happening in my own life.  I’d like to think I’ve caught my breath a bit, as I’ve settled in and figured out where my time needs to be spent.  Tonight I have no papers to grade, for once I’m not completely exhausted, and it’s only 6:45.  I have so much free time that I hardly know what to do with myself!

And of course, now that I have time to think about it, I’m longing for a soul mate (or at least a reasonable stand-in).  Even though my family (God knows) is around me all the time, I feel so completely isolated.  When I finally do manage to find myself in a relationship, will I have forgotten how intimacy works?  Is it like riding a bike?  Have I become too selfish over the past year?  Who knows.  These are things I’m willing to figure out later.

I hope this post doesn’t sound too new-agey.  I took a few very deep breaths (both literally and figuratively!) this weekend and I feel like I’m getting my bearings again.  I was in the right place at the right time, and my mind was open, and this quote really spoke to me yesterday:

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.    -Rumi

I don’t mean to sound like a hallmark commercial, but isn’t that a neat idea?  I can apply it to so many parts of my life–what about the barriers that I build that keep me from loving my family?  My friends?  The space I inhabit (you should see my apartment!!!)?  My SELF?

It’s a lot to think about–I hope I can push myself to make time to do that….

P.S.:  Thanks Corey for the advice, I have put it to good use!  Between walking laps around the building AND recommitting myself to Yoga (or at least trying to, hold me to it, Vixen), my body doesn’t feel like it’s been pulled through a meat grinder at the end of the day anymore.

Keep your laws off my body…

Of course in the midst of my exhaustion, I watched the debate last night.  And if the media wants to give McCain a point and say he won this one, then fine.  It’s no secret that I don’t like the man’s politics, and there was certainly going to be PLENTY that would piss me off during those ninety minutes.  But as a feminist, I take some serious issue with THIS bullshit:

Obama:  With respect to partial-birth abortion, I am completely supportive of a ban on late-term abortions, partial-birth or otherwise, as long as there’s an exception for the mother’s health and life, and this did not contain that exception.

………

McCain:  Just again, the example of the eloquence of Senator Obama. The health of the mother. [Making 'air quotes' with his hands on the word 'health'.] You know, that’s been stretched by the pro-abortion movement in America to mean almost anything. That’s the extreme pro-abortion position, quote, “health.”

My GOD, does that ever piss me off.  First of all:  blowing off the issue of women’s health to make a political point is simply bad form.  Especially if this man is hoping to scoop up some disgruntled Hillary supporters.  To argue that there should be absolutely no women’s health exception to late-term abortion laws, to imply that we need the government to apply its laws to our bodies because we’re not capable of telling the difference between what is a health risk and what isn’t…GRRRRRRR.

And I so wish Obama would have called him on the use of the words “pro abortion.”  Supporting choice, believing that the government does not have jurisdiction over my uterus:  that’s not “pro abortion.”  Believing no woman should be forced to use a coat hanger or go to a dark alley and pay some guy a few hundred dollars to use dirty instruments and a flashlight:  that’s not “pro abortion.”  Asking for exceptions to late-term abortion laws to take into account that some women have to make the devastating choice between their lives and the lives of their own children:  that is not “pro abortion.”  Wanting education that emphasizes family planning and safer sex, and that does not idiotically preach abstinence to the exclusion of every other possible method of safe, available birth control, because we all know how well THAT works (Sarah Palin, I’m looking at you…):  THAT is not “pro abortion.”  This insistence that we are a bunch of rabid, unstable women and men who are actually setting out to destroy unborn children is the kind of knee-jerk rhetoric that the right uses to take our eyes off of the real issues in this country.  None of us are “pro abortion.”  We’re pro choice.

The polls are allegedly swinging our way, but everybody knows it’s anybody’s game.  I don’t know what I’m more afraid of–a President McCain, or, God forbid it, a President Palin.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want the leader of the free world to be a person who can’t name a single Supreme Court decision other than Roe vs. Wade and who thinks that she can say “hockey mom” and wink a few times to win my vote.  Does anyone else find that prospect as terrifying as I do?

Just over two weeks to go…and I’m getting nervous.

Time Management

Let me just say this:  I’m working on it.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve determined two important things:

• I love my job.  Really and truly.  It’s a great feeling, waking up in the morning and actually liking what you’re doing.  I don’t love every minute of it, but I find something to love about it every day.
• Bodywise, though, my job is not loving me.  The long hours on my feet have contributed to some serious slimming (I’m down a size, woot!) but leave me feeling sore and exhausted at the end of each day.  I know the solution to this is to fight fire with fire and go workout after work…yoga, weights, something–but the idea of taking my exhausted, sore body anywhere but home at the end of the day just isn’t jiving.  Somebody encourage me.

The zapped energy isn’t just leading me to neglect my blog, either.  I haven’t actually picked up my knitting needles in weeks!  I still read a little, but I usually can’t get past a few pages before I nod off.  9pm rolls around and I’m looking for a pillow!  I never thought I’d see the day.

So…as I said, I’m working on it.  I know that I’ll find my groove, get into better shape, and stop feeling like shit at the end of the day soon.  If anybody has any ideas…homeopathic cures, meditation chants, ass-kicking words of encouragement, anything!!!  Feel free to pass them along.  I’m having my own little energy crisis over here…

A few items of note

In no particular order.

• School is back in session! The students are no worse for the wear, thank goodness, but I did find out that one of my colleagues lost her house to flooding, and as of Friday around 20% of the teaching staff still didn’t have electricity. The school itself had some water damage, but all is well and we’re doing our best to get back to normal…and praying that the state doesn’t force us to make up all 9 missed days!
• Just in time to get back to teaching, I have completely lost my voice. Now, if you know me, you’re aware that this is a problem. I’m…a bit of a talker. Just a bit. And this SUCKS! I had just enough voice to teach on Thursday, but halfway through yesterday it just gave out, and I had to get a sub for the rest of the day. Today it’s coming and going, but the sound is more like a horn honking than anything else, and I think it’s scaring my nephew…
• It’s good movie season again! Today I’m off to see The Duchess with Vixen, tomorrow it’s Burn After Reading, and I’m already making plans to see The Lucky Ones and Lakeview Terrace within the next week or so.  Anybody seen any of them?  Were they good?  I love this time of year…
• Barack kicked ass in the debate last night, but then again, is anybody surprised?   And if you need a laugh, check this out…I’m so glad I watched Countdown that night, because I haven’t stayed up late enough to watch Letterman in ages.  But it was so worth it.

That’s about all I’ve got for the time being.  Off to enjoy the weekend, and pray fervently that my voice comes back soon…

Damn.

Last Thursday, I felt a little tickle in my throat, and decided I might be getting sick.  By Saturday I couldn’t swallow or speak very well, and while today I have my voice back, it’s several octaves lower than normal.  The verdict?  It’s sinusitis, which I’ve had about a million times, but this incarnation of it is by far the suckiest.  So I’m spending the remainder of my unexpected vacation planted on the couch and on a strict regimen of antibiotics and decongestants.  Yuck.

At least the timing is in my favor; we STILL aren’t back in school.  Staff is supposed to report on Wednesday and I think classes will actually resume on Thursday–that means we’ve had two full weeks away.  I’m glad we were in the middle of writing essays and not reading anything, because picking back up would have been impossible.  I’m also grateful we have a workday before everybody comes back, because I can hardly remember where we left off!  I think the holdup has been because of power not being restored–traffic lights are still out all over town and a bunch of stores are still closed.  There was a story on the news about power crews in a middle-class neighborhood who were pulled off of their ladders and told to go to River Oaks, an uber-wealthy part of town (more info and the company’s excuse here), and I saw plenty of gas hoarding when I filled up last Wednesday.  A woman pulled up in an Expedition, filled up, and then opened her liftgate and proceeded to fill FOUR ten-gallon gas cans.  Other than that, though, things are ok.  We’re enjoying a nice, long break from my aunt (who at present is terribly upset because her favorite TV shows are being preempted for continuing hurricane recovery coverage.  She calls at least twice a day to lament this fact.).

That’s about all I’ve got…I wish I had some more interesting or fun news to share, but it’s been all about kleenex and cough drops for me!  Hopefully I’m back in shape by Wednesday.  I have to admit, I’ve never looked forward to going back to work as much as I do right now.  I want my routine back!